Saying the right thing

how much is too much?

2010-05-01T16:14:00.004-04:00

Some people are private, choosing not to bare all about themselves or revealing confidences. Others thrive on sharing personal information, sometimes the most intimate facts, and have no problem divulging information that has been entrusted to them.i once had a friend who would regularly tell me the most intimate details of her sex life with her now ex-husband. i was uncomfortable hearing this,

when nosy people ask questions you don't want to answer

2009-03-21T13:23:00.003-04:00

you know the person I mean - the one who does not hesitate to ask questions that may be just a little too personal - how much did it cost - or - how much do you earn - did you have sex with the guy on first date - what did the doctor say.What do you say when people ask questions you really don't want to answer?

Not again!!??

2009-03-11T14:30:00.003-04:00

Yup - just found out another person I know has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Another incredibly fit and healthy woman. I called her immediately, but again as the phone was ringing I was thinking 'what do you say?' She answered before I could clearly formulate my thoughts."I just heard about your breast cancer," I said. "I want you to know that I know and that I am thinking about you."

when friends divorce

2008-11-26T15:13:00.002-05:00

Listen: do not interrupt when she is telling you her story; let her cry if she needs to; give her a hug.

did i say the right thing?

2008-08-20T16:48:00.002-04:00

What an awful month August has been. My friend Rhoda was diagnosed with breast cancer. Her surgery is scheduled for the beginning of September. Out of the blue, my friend Pat’s husband of 28 years told her he didn’t love her anymore and he wanted a divorce. She was devastated. My friend Margie had heart surgery. Fortunately, the procedure went well and she is already out and about and

what do you say - before major surgery

2008-08-05T13:01:00.003-04:00

My friend Margie had heart surgery last week and I went to visit her the day before the procedure. Another friend was just leaving and said, “Good luck tomorrow.” That struck me as an unusual thing to say. Luck should have nothing to do with medicine. But then I wondered, what is the right thing to say to someone heading into major surgery?

what do you say - being called the wrong name

2008-07-28T14:34:00.003-04:00

My name is Benita. Not Bonita, Bernita, Brenda, Belinda, Bettina, Breanna or Barbara……BUT…..those are the names that I have been called my entire life. I don’t know if people don’t listen or they just hear what is familiar to them. I say ‘Benita’, they call me ‘Bonita.’ I sign emails or letters ‘Benita’…. I get replies to ‘Bonita.’ The problem is - I never correct them. I don’t want to

what do you say - forgetting someone's name

2008-07-24T16:32:00.002-04:00

This has happened to me more often than I would like to admit. I have taken different approaches, depending on my reading of the situation. Generally, I tend to adopt the "honesty is the best policy" approach. I might say something along the lines of “…do you believe I can’t remember your name?!” In other circumstances, I have refocused the conversation to allow the two persons to take over –

Your friend is dating/marrying a guy you really don't like. What do you say?

2008-07-18T13:24:00.003-04:00

Readers advice:You say very little, until she dumps him. Then, when she tells you that he is a jerk, you agree and tell her that she was too good for him. If you tell her that while they are dating, you risk losing a friend. You don't want to lie, but sometimes it is best to not say how you are really feeling.SAY NOTHING!! I have been in this situation and as difficult as it has been,

What do you say?

2008-07-18T13:10:00.003-04:00

You're at a party and talking to someone. You're running out of conversation with this person and want to speak with others. How do you get out of the situation without hurting the person's feelings?

Reflections from Cindi

2008-07-11T10:28:00.002-04:00

It does bring to mind one personal story. My best friend in high school and university died of bone cancer in our third year university. She suffered for at least 18 months before that. She was most hurt when people who she considered friends just stopping talking to her because they were uncomfortable and didn't know what to say. She and I talked about it a lot and we concluded that saying

Advice from Katie Couric

2008-07-10T13:02:00.002-04:00

Reflecting on the 10th anniversary of her husband's death in Newsweek magazine, Katie wrote:"Even the word feels clunky and uncomfortable. 'Condolences.' No wonder so many of us are at a loss when dealing with loss. The right words can be such a salve for raw, unabating pain. So why is our biggest goal simply to fill up a note card or piece of stationery with enough words to get the whole

I don't know what to say

2008-07-08T15:14:00.007-04:00

Linda and I were having coffee the other day, chatting about nothing in particular, when she burst into tears. “I have just been diagnosed with breast cancer,” she said. Taken by surprise, I hugged her and mumbled something that I hoped was meaningful. I felt ashamed that I could not say something more appropriate. We are regularly faced with circumstances – sad, awkward, surprising, complex

What to say if you get Caught Sleeping at your Desk

2008-06-11T11:21:00.002-04:00

"They told me at the blood bank this might happen." "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to." "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time!" Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?' "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to

Find a Way to Always Say the Right Thing in Any Situation - from Wikihow

2008-06-10T08:39:00.002-04:00

How to Find a Way to Always Say the Right Thing in Any SituationHave you been saying things you really shouldn't say lately? Well, get control of your actions by reading this article. Steps When you get annoyed with someone.. what do you think you should do? What have you done in the past to someone who got on your last nerves? Well, it depends. Let's say your grandmother was visiting you. So,

What to say to someone who is grieving

2008-05-24T10:44:00.000-04:00

It is difficult to find the right words to comfort a grief-stricken friend or co-worker. Some things we say with the best intentions can make a grieving friend feel worse. Grief counselor Marta Felber, M.Ed., author of "Grief Expressed: When a Mate Dies" and herself a widow, offers the following "Do's and Don'ts" for conversing with someone who is grieving.DON'T SAY: "I know how you feel." The